Tis the season to attempt to be jolly.

So. its been awhile.
Im fine. French is fine. school is fine. family is fine.
my sister got a new car. im jeaaloouss. but were totally going to go on a road trip to iowa when i get home.
my family is visiting in june. i hope. i think? im pretty sure.
uhm.. going to sweden again on saturday til Jan 4th. i hope it will be fun.
No plans for new years.. ill be in sweden... :/
Christmas might be hard. idk. It doesnt feel like christmas. its strange.
thanksgiving was really fun. i had a blast. i went to nicolas house and made it with his mom and all that jazz. it was fun.
i went to the circus in paris on tuesday. i loovedd it. but i loooove circus' anyway. lol. and i was in the 2nd row, so it was wickeddd.
I had to say goodbye to John my guy australian friend. hes leaving the 4th and im going to be in sweden :/
And i had to say goodbye to my 5 australian friends from school. The ones that were here for 6 weeks. i cant believe its alreadybeen 6 weeks.
it kind of bugs me how the time is flying. i keep thinking i have all this time, when i dont.
its like it flies when you want it to crawl and it stands still when you want it to run. its irritating. but thats life i guess.
i got to be really good friends with the australians. so it sucks.
im excited to get my christmas package. :) my famm sent it to sweden so it will be waiting for me when i get there :) suuper excited. i love packages and letters. theyre my faaavieess!
So many people are leaving. john, the 5 australians. Sean got sent home. (dont get me started). Cassie left. and now Tom is getting sent home. ugh. i hate it! im so scared i will get sent home for something. ( i dont really think it would or will happen, but still. this is crazy) so im like walkin on eggshells when im with rotary. aah. i hate it.
this is the hardest time, so im told. and i believe them.
january is supposed to be mad awesome. so i cant wait. but idk.
Im trying to not compare my exchange to other students, but i cant help it. And when i do, im really discouraged. Im just not as advanced as the others. theres too much english at home. they speak to me in french now, so thats good, but they still speak english sometimes. im just kid of, losing faith in myself.
everyone says im brave for doing this. i think im just insane.
I refuse to leave from homesickness. Im going to do this year. but i want to see my family.
bbaahhh homesickness. ughh. i miss my friends A LOT!!! especially my GUY friends. i have like 1 maybe 2 guy friends here, and it bugs me. Guys are usually the majority of my friends. girls carry drama (no offense). So i DEFINATLY miss them. :/
okay well i have to go.
(ill do more later. ugh. i miss my real mom.)